5 HEADLINES AND COMMENT(for entertainment purposes only)
1-A man in the U.K. was spotted with a snake wrapped around his nose and mouth. And you thought YOUR mask was constricting!
2-Pepsi is releasing a new drink that’ll help you sleep. It’s called “bourbon.”
3-The U.S. deficit is now at $3 trillion. Fortunately, the government put it all on a credit card, so free airline miles for all!
4-The 89-year-old founder of Duty Free Shoppers has given almost his entire $8 billion fortune to charity. Reached for comment, Charity said she just put in her two-week notice at the strip club.
5-Red Lobster will soon launch the “DewGarita,” a margarita made with Mountain Dew . . . “I can’t wait to not try it,” replied anyone who has ever tasted Mountain Dew.