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Daily Dumbass

For the week of 08.08.22

08.08.22

FURIOUS CUSTOMER TAKES REVENGE FOR BAD HAIRCUT 

A man in China who was so dissatisfied with his haircut that he made daily deliveries of human feces to the barber shop that gave it to him. The poop slinger was apprehended after the shop’s owner called police.

08.09.22

BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD BACK

Well, a couple of idiots are back. Beavis and Butt-Head, who came to fame in the 1990s on MTV are now on Paramount-Plus. You’ll be seeing the boys get trapped in a bathroom they’ve mistaken for an escape room or get trapped in a cardboard box they’re hiding in at school. What’s guaranteed is plenty of snorting and sniggering.

Source: TV Insider, 8/4/22

08.10.22

800 DOING FLORIDA PYTHON CHALLENGE 

The number of people hunting pythons in the Florida Python Challenge is around 800 this year. The event kicked off Friday and runs until 5PM Sunday. The Florida Everglades is home to the invasive Burmese python and there are rewards for removing as many as possible.

08.11.22

GUY LEAVES PARKING INSTRUCTIONS ON NEIGHBOR’S CAR  Some people are cheering a guy in the UK who left a parking diagram on a woman’s car in an apartment complex parking lot. The diagram shows four hand-drawn cars from above, each evenly parked in their own spaces. On the same paper, below that, is two cars in the four spaces, with one of the cars taking up two parking spots. The note gave the woman “2/10 for effort” for parking across two spaces. While some reddit commenters thought the anonymous diagram drawer was “mansplaining,” others said he should be given a medal since hogging two spaces is one of the biggest jerk moves any driver can do. One comment confused many people: “If you want to be ultra picky, you’d point out that the cars in the top row are also technically not parked correctly as you are supposed to park with your left wheels as close to the left line as possible. Everyone does this, everyone has room to get out. Problem is almost no-one anywhere does this.” Mind you, the post was from the UK, where drivers site on the right right side of the car. This suggestion would mean you’d have extra space for the driver. Except most people had never heard of this.

08.12.22

POLICE RESCUE LOVERS HANDCUFFED TOGETHER 

German police were called in for a delicate late-night rescue operation to free two young lovers handcuffed together in bed. A 30-year-old man and his 25-year-old girlfriend were naked and had put handcuffs on when the key broke and the lock jammed. The embarrassed couple called the police who cut the handcuffs with a bolt cutter and then left quietly.

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